Not sure whether my spirit travels here while I sleep,
haunting the forest that used to be mine.
I've had episodes of sleep paralysis where I see the rooms of my old house,
floating close to the ceiling,
soft and slow, like a balloon,
the rooms empty, but still home.
Sometimes I float above the hills
sometimes low, close to the grass
sometimes on the surface of the water
sometimes on the bank of the river
sometimes facing up, towards the stars
and the worlds I imagined among them.
And every time I manage to wake from paralysis
(if and whenI manage to)
my memory lags
and my eyes, my physical eyes, wander,
and my senses are all mixed up,
so that waking up feels like falling into a dream, but in reverse, (which is not like waking up at all,
or is it)
Or maybe my unconcious is asking to go home, like a child that doesn't understand.